Holy Cow!

Did you know that I used to be a cow?  I didn't believe Elaine when she told me.  I think that the magical meat being created me to lord over the non-sentient meats.  They might be made of cows, but do you see me or Meatstang mooing?

Meatstang, stop that!  You're a horse, not a cow.  Whinny, for goodness' sakes!

Anyhow, I'm way more awesome than any cow.  I wouldn't be surprised if there were giant plaques everywhere in my McDonald's that showed that they were home to Meatgar, ruler over all meats.  Also not a cow.

Mooooooooooooo.

Ignore that, it didn't count.

Meatstang

Meatstang has been sniffing around the computer.  Hey, Meatstang, would you like to type, too?

Readers, this is going to be Meatstang saying hello.

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D'aaawww.

Hello!

Hi.  My name is Meatgar.  Lucky thing I found this computer, eh?  So, let me explain.  I am a lump of meat from the back of a McDonald's freezer.  I gained sentience just a little bit ago.  I tried talking to the other lumps of meat, but they weren't much for conversation.  I had, of course, absorbed human speech in the period of time that I was not quite sentient.  The ones next to me could move around a bit, but they couldn't think or make conversation, as far as I could tell.  One of them I use as a pony.  I call him Meatstang. 

Anyhow, I was riding around the freezer on Meatstang, making little pony noises, when the freezer was opened by a human.  Her name tag said "Elaine" and she let Meatstang and I out.  She reached in and grabbed a few of the non-moving lumps of meat.  Meatstang and I naturally took the opportunity to sneak into the bright light.

Searching around, I found a machine that matched the human description of "computer".  It was currently logged into a blogging website with the blog Book du Jour ( bookdujour.blogspot.com ) on it.  I quickly figured out how to make my own blog, and here it is!

So this will just be about my life, random thoughts, and what it's like to be a blob of sentient meat.  Special emphasis will be placed on that last one because though I always hear that most users are no more than sentient blobs of meat, I can't find any kind of network for us to "meat" up.